Welcome to a sampling of sentences written by Nolan, my 7-year-old son. He’s in second grade this year, and part of his daily class routine is to compose a one-sentence response to a writing prompt in his student planner.
As you can imagine, there’s some good stuff in there.
He was also an astronaut and once dated Madonna
For the record, I have never worked as a plumber, assisted a plumber, or played a plumber on television. I don’t even have an ass crack. I can only assume that Nolan came to this conclusion after watching me walk in to the bathroom on numerous occasions armed with a plunger, a Sports Illustrated, a sandwich, and a box of matches.
Smooth move, Mom and Dad
Gee, I wonder who didn’t get a smoothie because he wouldn’t eat his stew? Freakin’ moms and dads and their b.s. food consumption rules!
There’s a 99.99999% chance Reed is a sibling
Or maybe, just maybe, it’s simply the fact that he exists.