Blog Archives

Armpit Farts: The Only Way to End Your Day

Michael over at Dadicus Grinch shared this daily “To Do” list that his 7-year-old son Hayden brought home from school one day.

Michael asked if the teacher had assigned Hayden and his classmates the job of making a list: “No, a few of us just wanted to make them.”

You’ll find that Hayden’s list is incredibly thorough (and hilarious).

to_do_list to_do_list2 to_do_list4 to_do_list5

A couple of annotations, courtesy of Michael:

4. “Special” is the term for a rotating class: Art, Gym, Music…

14. “Pink” is what we call their fluoride rinse. So glad that I put the fear of the dentist in them — can you tell?

17. “Jump and do armpit farts” The boy is lucky he hasn’t cracked any ribs he’s been doing so many damn armpit farts.

In honor of 7-year-olds everywhere, we at Stuff Kids Write invite to join us in completing Hayden’s list today.

Just don’t crack any ribs.

In These Economic Times, It’s Important to Diversify Your (Lego) Portfolio

Introducing RK, a boy who will no doubt be featured regularly at SKW in the future.

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point we simply change the name of the site to Stuff RK Wrote (or Analyzed).

A couple things you need to know about this kid:

1. He is 8-years-old.

2. He is wicked smart.

3. Someday he will own three-quarters of the world.

See, RK is a numbers person. He looks at the world and sees figures and data and mathematical possibility.

Numbers people tend to make money. Lots of it. On the other hand, word people, like myself, tend to make witty comments to wealthy numbers people as we hand them Refried Burritonators and large Pepsis through the drive-thru window at Taco Bell.

RK’s numeric-rich DNA no doubt comes in large part from his dad, Travis, one of my best friends.

In college, Travis and I, along with our other roommate, The Wookie, would watch no less than 18 hours of SportsCenter per day. The Wookie and I would generally guffaw at the verbal hijinks of anchors Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann while Travis would enter a Raymond-the-Rain-Man state of statistical computation and suddenly say things like, “Ahman Green averages 3.2 yards-per-carry on running plays to the left side of center during daytime conference home games, but he only averages 2.9 yards-per-carry when running over the right side during nighttime games away from home versus non-conference opponents.”

Then one of us would typically fart, say “Average that!”, and the three of us would laugh and drink another Keystone Light.

Man, those were the days.

Anyway, RK was genetically predisposed to be numbers through-and-through. And here’s an example. Travis found this file saved on the family computer (conveniently named “fdsafgfrftfvfbf jkl;jhjujyjmjnj dedswsaqa kiklol;p;.bmp”).

Travis explains:

As far as we can tell, he was analyzing the type of Legos he has, possibly getting ready for a presentation to his parents about how he needs to have better diversification in his Legos portfolio. In our household, Legos have been used as currency in heated discussions regarding politics, work ethic, economics, and budgets. A way for dad to explain some things he can get passionate about and have his son relate.

Graphing his Lego portfolio? 8-years-old?

Hell, RK may end up owning four-quarters of the world.

*****

Thanks, Travis, for sharing this. Please tell RK that I’d like to schedule an appointment to evaluate my Lego portfolio. It’d be nice to know when I can retire.

And if you wouldn’t mind, grab me another Key Light while you’re up.