Did you know that the Rorschach (pronounced EENK-blaut) test is being administered to kindergarten students these days?
Psychoanalysis of young children has come a long way since my days in the “K” when teacher comments (“A very nice boy. Eats a lot of boogers. You may want to consider velcro shoes. For life.”) were the only indicators parents had to reassure them that their kids were progressing (stagnating) on the correct developmental arc.
For those unfamiliar with the Rorschach, subjects are shown a series of images and asked to describe what they see in each. Here are some examples.
For instance, a person looking at this image will most likely identify two garden gnomes inexplicably high-fiving after having their lower legs sheared off by a lawnmower.
Most reasonable individuals will view this picture and immediately spot a unicorn tripped-out on peyote and dressed in drag.
When gazing at this slide, 87% of respondents describe two women with compound fractures of the femur dead-lifting a keg of beer while holding their handbags.
And if presented with this rendering, there is near-universal agreement on “mutated Chicken McNugget,” with “old man scrotum” coming in a close second.
Psychotherapists study individuals’ interpretations of these images and then draw conclusions, such as, “I can’t believe we actually get paid to do this!”
Five-year-old KM just might grow up to be one of those people who gets paid big bucks to tell others how crazy they are. She seems to have a pretty good handle on the analysis part.
“Sometimes it looks like (a) monsters kissing. But it wasn’t (a) monsters kissing. Wow!”
It’s not hard to imagine KM looking back at this 20 years from now and thinking, “Damn, my parents must have made-out in front of me a lot.”
Thanks to KM’s mom for submitting this piece, knowing full-well that I would bring up her and her husband’s tendency towards public displays of affection and the lasting efffect (scarring) it will likely cause on their daughter.