Category Archives: Notes

No Wonder My Dreams Weren’t Coming True: I’d Been Using Shredded Cucumber!

Amanda Bast, who’s sent in great stuff before, submitted this piece. She explains:

A little girl handed me this gem after teaching her grade 4 class. She offered no explanation, just handed it over and refused to explain it.

It reads:

Secret Recipe for your wish to come true

-cat hair

-dog hair          (10 wishes for 10 drops)

-yogurt

-ripped up paper

-cucumber (sliced)

-MIX

-Stir

-Pour over head

-think hard

-Done

Seems easy enough. And it’s easy to smile when you read Amanda’s stuff, too. Go check out her site by clicking here. Thanks, Amanda!

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P.S. – Daddy, Help Yourself to the Three-Layer Dark Chocolate Stuff

Olivia shared this note from her 8-year-old daughter, Teagan.

It’s clear that Teagan understands how dads operate. Her mom explains:

Tonight I had to run by the grocery store to pick up a prescription. Two kids in tow, I sent them to go pick out some Jell-o or pudding (they didn’t even have to agree on a flavor). They thought I was the coolest mom ever; I was just happy to not have them in the pharmacy line with me.

My son, who’s 7, returned with the adult version of pudding: dark chocolate, three layers, and a something that was supposed to look like raspberries. My daughter, who’s 8, came back with lemon-lime Jell-o. Sugar free. In other words, about as tempting as the open-backed gown and hospital bed that usually accompany such a treat.

When we got home, each kid enjoyed a cup and then headed towards their bedtime routines. I went about picking up the tornado of the day, and upon opening the fridge I found this (at least she wrote it with love):

We can only assume that the three-layer, dark chocolate pudding – which did not have a sticky note disclaimer – was fair game.

Smart girl, Teagan.

*****

Thanks to Olivia for submitting to Stuff Kids Write (and please go check out her site Cross Training). She would probably agree that it took her less time to snap a pic of Teagan’s note and email it to stuffkidswrite@gmail.com than it would to eat one of those Jell-o snacks. And Stuff Kids Write has zero calories! (Open-backed gowns are optional.)

So what are you waiting for? Submit today!

 

 

Marriage Proposals: The Check Box System

It’s the question that will bring even the most confident man to his knees.

Will you marry me?

Jack knows.

He agonized over how to pop the question for days.

Should he ask her in person?

Should he express himself in writing?

Should he have someone else ask her for him?

To quote his mother, “It literally kept him up for days.”

Finally, six-year-old Jack opted to write his intended a note. But even the written word didn’t calm his nerves.

Would she misunderstand the check mark boxes?

I don’t know what Megan said, but I do know that a six-year-old with that kind of printing is a keeper. Jack’s penmanship nearly guarantees that he will become a man who takes out the garbage and puts his socks in the laundry without being asked.

To read more about Jack’s antics, go to his mom’s blog, Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says.

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Has your child, niece, or nephew done any comedic writing? If so, consider sending it to us at stuffkidswrite(at)gmail(dot)com.

How To Get Your Children To Write

As an English teacher and writer (yes, they’re sometimes mutually exclusive), parents frequently ask me how they can get their children to write outside of school.

I now have a new answer.

Threaten to take them to the dentist.

That’s what Joy Bennett did.

And this is how her five-year-old (S.) responded.

"No dentist no no no"

The primary purpose of writing is to communicate.

The most important tenet of writing is clarity.

I’d say S. nailed them both.

And I’m with him. I went to the dentist this morning. And in six months, I will echo S and say: no dentist no no no.

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Joy Bennett blogs at Joy In This Journey and is a contributing writer at Deeper Story.

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Any dentist stories out there?

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Has your child, niece, or nephew done any comedic writing? If so, consider sending it to us at stuffkidswrite(at)gmail(dot)com.

Playing the Guilt Card

This morning, I found this note behind a dresser. I’m not sure when it was written or under what circumstances, but it pretty much cuts to the chase:

Ouch.

I’m about 82% positive my wife didn’t actually say “I don’t love you” to our 7-year-old son. He came to that conclusion after-the-fact based on some sort of traumatic interaction or event involving his mom. Three possible scenarios:

  1. A remnant of crust remained on a butter-and-jelly sandwich she had prepared for him.
  2. At bedtime, she laid in bed with his brother for 15 seconds longer than she did with him.
  3. She suggested that Yoda’s lightsaber skills are overrated.

Oh no she didn’t!

No, she probably didn’t.

*****

If your children have ever played the guilt card on you, or you have any other funny writing they or other kids have composed, please share it with us by sending to stuffkidswrite (at) gmail (dot) com!

Bunny Masks, George Orwell, and Summer Camp

This is the phone conversation I had with my older brother last night regarding his middle daughter, Alice (age 8), and a number of other topics.

“I have something for you for that things-kids-write blog,” my brother says.

“You mean, Stuff Kids Write?” I ask. “What do you have?”

“Alice was at Sci Fi camp and needed her rabbit mask, so she wrote a note.”

My brain is processing too many things at once. I focus on his first five words. “Sci Fi camp? Like Science Fiction?”

My brother laughs. “No, Sci-Fi as in Science First.”

“Oh,” I say, “I thought she might be writing some Asimov or dressing up as her favourite Star Trek character.”

“You know,” my brother says, “I knew a guy who went to George Orwell Camp in 1984.”

George Orwell Camp, 1984

“You’re serious?” I’m only slightly weirded out by the fact I’m talking to my big brother.

“Ya, and my friend said that’s where he met the the first girl he ever made out with.”

I laugh. I’m pretty sure I’m spitting into the receiver.

“He’s from Wisconsin,” my brother adds. “But I think the camp was in Iowa.” This is not providing the clarity I need.

“Wow,” I say. Conversations between my brother and me are an exercise in Non-Sequiturs. I circle back to the original point. “About that Sci-Fi camp. Why did Alice need a rabbit mask?”

He says, “Each day is a different dress up day. It’s really smart. You can have kids bang rocks together all day and if they get to dress up, they think it’s fun.”

Can’t argue with logic like that.

“Alice needed her rabbit mask,” he explains. “So she put a note on the fridge to remind everyone. She even drew a picture.”

“But they weren’t dissecting bunnies?” Images of rabbit stew a la Fatal Attraction play through my mind.

“No,” he says, “just banging rocks together and dressing like animals.”

We cover 25 more topics in 3 minutes.

But no more bunnies or 1984…

Photo credit: Pawpaw67 (cc)