Category Archives: Miscellaneous

A Dime A Dozen = A Year’s Worth of Tutoring

Sahaana is a small businesswoman.

Literally. She’s 7.

And she’s saving up to buy her own iPad. So, in hopes of drumming up a little business among attending parents, she advertised her tutoring services during her brother’s birthday party.

Based on her monthly fee and the rate of inflation, Sahaana should be able to purchase her own iPad somewhere around the year 2032.

Sahaana, don’t sell yourself short, even if you are short.

Better grades are worth more than a dime! Add some zeros to that figure and bump the decimal to the right, girl!

*****

Thanks to Vasu and Priya, Sahaana’s parents, for sharing their daughter’s awesome entrepreneurial spirit.

The Sun’ll Come Out… Tomorrow?

We all have ’em…

But few of us ever have the foresight to post a sign on our bedroom door alerting others to the fact it’s the worst day of life. By far.

And including a hand-drawn emoticon to further drive home the point and alert potential non-readers to the fact? Next-level stuff, for sure.

Thanks to Anji for sharing her son’s sun’s status update.

If he’d drawn a “Like” box, we’d have checked it for sure.

A Butt-Kicking for the Ages

Brian wrote this story when he was a kid. His parents kept it. You’ll understand why. They had to be incredibly proud.

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The moral of this story?

Talking mice are inherently wise. If one ever offers you advice, take it.

Just don’t bend over to take it.

Especially if you’re naked.

What Would Jesus Do? Probably Push-ups

Olivia has shared more of her daughter Teagan’s handiwork. We’ll let her explain.

“Any good parent knows that they are destined to screw up their kids. My goal is to minimize the damage. Unfortunately for my daughter (age 9 1/2), her mother is a fitness instructor and her father is a pastor. She is doomed both in body and soul. Need proof? Here is what she brought home from Sunday school yesterday. The instructions were to cut out scenes from well-known Bible stories and fill in the bubbles over the character’s heads based on the story. I must admit, she may not be entirely wrong . . . “

Thanks to Olivia. You can check out her site Cross Training by clicking here.

P.S. – Light a Match or Something!

Jake has a little sister. She’s 10. We think she’s got a terrific sense of humor. Jake may not agree.

Thanks to Vicki for this submission. Check out her blog Where the FuhKaui? Don’t worry: it doesn’t stink.

When Your Little Sister Gives You 7 Exclamation Points, You’d Better Recognize

Brin is 6. She left this whiteboard note on her 8-year-old brother’s bed.

No Wonder My Dreams Weren’t Coming True: I’d Been Using Shredded Cucumber!

Amanda Bast, who’s sent in great stuff before, submitted this piece. She explains:

A little girl handed me this gem after teaching her grade 4 class. She offered no explanation, just handed it over and refused to explain it.

It reads:

Secret Recipe for your wish to come true

-cat hair

-dog hair          (10 wishes for 10 drops)

-yogurt

-ripped up paper

-cucumber (sliced)

-MIX

-Stir

-Pour over head

-think hard

-Done

Seems easy enough. And it’s easy to smile when you read Amanda’s stuff, too. Go check out her site by clicking here. Thanks, Amanda!

Holy Gwockomoly! This Birthday Card is Be. A. Utiful.

A card — particularly the homemade variety — can be a gift in and of itself.

Like this one.

MW, my 7-year-old nephew, composed this handcrafted masterpiece for his mom on her birthday. It’s beyond words.

But here are a few anyway:

1. Sydney is the dog. No mention of MW’s younger brother, but he undoubtedly loves his mama, too.

2. Mother and son both have beautiful eyes. True story. Probably genetic.

3. Correctly spelling “beautiful” — twice — is impressive at any age.

4. My sister-in-law really does make the best gwockomoly.

5. Nothing says “happy birthday” like hearts. And bananas.

*****

Thanks to MW’s dad for sharing this beauty, and now it’s your turn.

It’s letters-to-Santa season! We’ve already received several, and we’d love to share your submission with the readers of Stuff Kids Write, as well.

Remember, ’tis the season of giving, and a laugh is an easy gift to give. Plus it requires no wrapping. So send your submission to stuffkidswrite@gmail.com today!

My Summer Plans? Play Star Wars, Swim, Maybe Kick Some But

Any kid will tell you: summer goes fast.

Too fast. In June it seems summer will be endless. Long, lazy days without an agenda. You get up when you want, meander around, fiddle with this, faddle with that, no rush, no worries, thinking to yourself, “I’ve got all summer.”

Then all of a sudden August is breathing down your neck. You get a little panicky and realize you’d better revisit your summer game plan and prioritize what you’re going to do with the precious time you have left.

Maybe you even write an affirmation statement to remind yourself.

Last week I walked downstairs and found this on the couch. I guessed it was the 7-year-old’s handiwork, judging by the fact that he’d signed his name to it twice.

Good to know that in addition to playing Star Wars, jumping on the tramp, and riding his bike, he’s going to squeeze in some time to put a beatdown on his 4-year-old sister before summer gets away from him.

*****

Before summer gets away from you, submit something funny that a kid wrote to Stuff Kids Write! Just email an image of the writing, an explanation (if necessary), the child’s name (or initials) and age to stuffkidswrite (at) gmail (dot) com.

In These Economic Times, It’s Important to Diversify Your (Lego) Portfolio

Introducing RK, a boy who will no doubt be featured regularly at SKW in the future.

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point we simply change the name of the site to Stuff RK Wrote (or Analyzed).

A couple things you need to know about this kid:

1. He is 8-years-old.

2. He is wicked smart.

3. Someday he will own three-quarters of the world.

See, RK is a numbers person. He looks at the world and sees figures and data and mathematical possibility.

Numbers people tend to make money. Lots of it. On the other hand, word people, like myself, tend to make witty comments to wealthy numbers people as we hand them Refried Burritonators and large Pepsis through the drive-thru window at Taco Bell.

RK’s numeric-rich DNA no doubt comes in large part from his dad, Travis, one of my best friends.

In college, Travis and I, along with our other roommate, The Wookie, would watch no less than 18 hours of SportsCenter per day. The Wookie and I would generally guffaw at the verbal hijinks of anchors Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann while Travis would enter a Raymond-the-Rain-Man state of statistical computation and suddenly say things like, “Ahman Green averages 3.2 yards-per-carry on running plays to the left side of center during daytime conference home games, but he only averages 2.9 yards-per-carry when running over the right side during nighttime games away from home versus non-conference opponents.”

Then one of us would typically fart, say “Average that!”, and the three of us would laugh and drink another Keystone Light.

Man, those were the days.

Anyway, RK was genetically predisposed to be numbers through-and-through. And here’s an example. Travis found this file saved on the family computer (conveniently named “fdsafgfrftfvfbf jkl;jhjujyjmjnj dedswsaqa kiklol;p;.bmp”).

Travis explains:

As far as we can tell, he was analyzing the type of Legos he has, possibly getting ready for a presentation to his parents about how he needs to have better diversification in his Legos portfolio. In our household, Legos have been used as currency in heated discussions regarding politics, work ethic, economics, and budgets. A way for dad to explain some things he can get passionate about and have his son relate.

Graphing his Lego portfolio? 8-years-old?

Hell, RK may end up owning four-quarters of the world.

*****

Thanks, Travis, for sharing this. Please tell RK that I’d like to schedule an appointment to evaluate my Lego portfolio. It’d be nice to know when I can retire.

And if you wouldn’t mind, grab me another Key Light while you’re up.