Nolan Notes: Checking the Plumbing, Punitive Smoothies, and, Surprise! An Annoying Brother
Welcome to a sampling of sentences written by Nolan, my 7-year-old son. He’s in second grade this year, and part of his daily class routine is to compose a one-sentence response to a writing prompt in his student planner.
As you can imagine, there’s some good stuff in there.
He was also an astronaut and once dated Madonna
For the record, I have never worked as a plumber, assisted a plumber, or played a plumber on television. I don’t even have an ass crack. I can only assume that Nolan came to this conclusion after watching me walk in to the bathroom on numerous occasions armed with a plunger, a Sports Illustrated, a sandwich, and a box of matches.
Smooth move, Mom and Dad
Gee, I wonder who didn’t get a smoothie because he wouldn’t eat his stew? Freakin’ moms and dads and their b.s. food consumption rules!
There’s a 99.99999% chance Reed is a sibling
What Nolan’s 5-year-old brother did to deserve this mini rant is unknown. Possibly Reed was snoring. Perhaps there was a fight between the two.
Or maybe, just maybe, it’s simply the fact that he exists.
*****
We need more stuff kids wrote!
Rummage through backpacks (don’t limit yourself to only your child’s), flip through notebooks, take a pic of that bulletin board at school, ask your kids’ teachers for funny samples they have (names will be omitted)!
Then submit to stuffkidswrite@gmail.com.
Thanks!
Posted on October 13, 2011, in Diaries and Journals, School Assignments and tagged children, funny, funny writing, Humor, kid writing, Kids, school journals, Stuff Kids Write, Stuffkidswrite.com. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.
Oh, and when you’re done fixin’ those pipes, Assman, make that kid a smoothie. Sheesh. 😉
Love it!
I wish I had been a plumber because then I might have some sort of tanigible, useful skill, as opposed to having an English degree which really only qualifies me to make smoothies.
I don’t know about plummer cracks, either. Just saying.
Well that’s my career out the window