Hotter Than Hell: Middle School Humor
Besides having psychotic kids and supportive spouses, both Chase and I teach middle school. Having a sense of humor helps us survive, in the same way wearing a leather jacket helps if you’re flung off a motorcycle into the path a semi-trailer.
Last week, my eighth graders were working on vocabulary spectrums, where they take a pair of words (e.g. Walk –> Run) and they fill in the continuum with specific vocabulary, leading from Point A to Point B. In the walk/run example, students listed meandered, trudged, shuffled…dashed, sprinted, bolted. You get the idea.
Well, this class was not going to create normal vocabulary continuums. After all, this was the same class who, earlier in the year, had the assignment of insulting me in Shakespearean language. One innocent boy came up to me, pointed his finger, and yelled in my face, “Thou saucy, lily-livered slut!” I can assure you that slut was not on the list. But scut was. I knew what had happened. I laughed and hyperventilated. The mortified student literally crab-walked back to his seat, saying, “I meant scut. I meant to call you a scut.” I don’t think we got any work done after that.
Now take this same spirited class. Focus on a group of boys. Add a nice Friday afternoon, the warmest one in six months. Give them the vocabulary continuum assignment.
And you get this.
(Note: read all the way down).
Sycophancy at its best.
Posted on May 28, 2011, in School Assignments and tagged Assignments, Chase McFadden, funny writing, Humor, Leanne Shirtliffe, Megan Fox, Middle School, Stuffkidswrite.com, vocabulary. Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.
I think I’d have to frame that one. Priceless.
Immortalized on the blog. 🙂
You know, I’m seeing a strong resemblance between you and Megan here. 🙂 Thanks for sharing. I love knowing what young people are up to these day.
I see the resemblance too: we both have hair, eyes, and noses.;)
Awe.some! Hope you gave that kid an A.
They got to share it in front of their class. That was worth more than an A, I think!
Wow – that’s an impressive continuum, both in execution and aim!
“Super heated plasma” made me smile…
I didn’t know what that was when I was 13.
I still don’t.
It was only a matter of time eh? The next step gets Brad Pitt to Chase.
Dear Mr. Six-Degrees-of-Separation: something tells me you can connect Chase to Brad in a few steps. Dare ya…
You’re on but I’m gonna need brushes with celebrity by Mr. McFadden.
I expect you can fulfill this dare regardless.
ha ha. Love it!
You know how I know you actually are hotter than hell AND Megan Fox? Because you appear to enjoy teaching middle schoolers, and they appear to be learning from you. God bless you. I don’t often enjoy middle schoolers and I’ve owned some. This is fantastic.
Thanks. I do have a lot of fun with them. Something tells me it’ll be a whole different story when my own kids are that age…
Crazy funny! The scut to slut is a riot.
It’s a continuum of its own, isn’t it?
Loved this one, Leanne! You ARE hotter than Hell, baby! Your kids are a riot. Thanks for the laugh.
Well, I know I’m hotter than hell when I’m feverish…
That kid is going to have one hell of a good time in high school and college.
Yes. A bit too clever, perhaps…
I officially love the boys in your class.
Yes, they got a front-of-the-line pass to Personality handouts.
That’s a great one. Definitely a keeper. Maybe yould blackmail him someday when he become a senator. 🙂
Brilliant idea. Blog as evidence (and for once not against me!)
That’s hilarious! You’ve got some talented kids there. Love the ‘weakly cooked McDonald’s hamburger’!
Yes, they don’t lack in talent…
You sound like a fantastic teacher. I love the insult in Shakespearean language thing! I teach a high school home school coop, do you mind if I steal the idea?
Steal away. Actually, even better, send me an email and I’ll send you the handout! (ironicmom (at) gmail (dot) com.
Awesome. Fox is pretty but seems like a walking STD.
I didn’t know we could send in student stuff, thought it was just our children. I teach a lot of idiots, I’ll see what I can get.
Tyler: Funniest comment ever. “Walking STD” = funny. Thank you for not implicating me in that.
You must have some writing of you as a kid…
Oh Leanne – that was HILARIOUS!! I’m also a middle school teacher – having taught musical theater for the last 7 years or so – and I teach private lessons and have ALWAYS said that middle school boys are the FUNNIEST on the planet!! Thanks for sharing!!
They are hilarious. Really. Truly. As someone who sees them perform, you know doubt have lots of stories!
Oh my YES. Too many.
Girl, I said you got that boom boom pow!
And if we can send in student stuff, I’ll be locked and loaded for fall.
Well not loaded. Maybe just a glass of wine… 😉
RASygirl, I like how you think. Nice pun on loaded, eh? 😉
I’m late getting in on this one…your students have a good facility for language, Leanne! It may be the only time in your life you’re on the same page as Megan Fox!
Thanks, Wendy. Yes, this is the end of MF and me, no doubt!
And they are very clever with language…pretty unafraid of playing with it, actually
Last week, my eighth graders were working on vocabulary spectrums, where they take a pair of words (e.g. Walk –> Run)
Should be “in which” … nice try, teachers.
Good editing. Thanks!
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