Hotter Than Hell: Middle School Humor

Besides having psychotic kids and supportive spouses, both Chase and I teach middle school. Having a sense of humor helps us survive, in the same way wearing a leather jacket helps if you’re flung off a motorcycle into the path a semi-trailer.

Last week, my eighth graders were working on vocabulary spectrums, where they take a pair of words (e.g. Walk –> Run) and they fill in the continuum with specific vocabulary, leading from Point A to Point B. In the walk/run example, students listed meandered, trudged, shuffleddashed, sprinted, bolted. You get the idea.

Well, this class was not going to create normal vocabulary continuums. After all, this was the same class who, earlier in the year, had the assignment of insulting me in Shakespearean language. One innocent boy came up to me, pointed his finger, and yelled in my face, “Thou saucy, lily-livered slut!” I can assure you that slut was not on the list. But scut was. I knew what had happened. I laughed and hyperventilated. The mortified student literally crab-walked back to his seat, saying, “I meant scut. I meant to call you a scut.” I don’t think we got any work done after that.

Now take this same spirited class. Focus on a group of boys. Add a nice Friday afternoon, the warmest one in six months. Give them the vocabulary continuum assignment.

And you get this.

(Note: read all the way down).

Sycophancy at its best.

About Leanne Shirtliffe

Leanne Shirtliffe is the author of SLOTH TO THE RESCUE, SAVING THUNDER THE GREAT, THE CHANGE YOUR NAME STORE, and NO MORE BEIGE FOOD (2016). She also wrote humor books DON'T LICK THE MINIVAN: Things I Never Thought I'd Say To My Kids and MOMMYFESTO. She and her family live in Calgary, Alberta because they like complaining about the weather.

Posted on May 28, 2011, in School Assignments and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.

  1. I think I’d have to frame that one. Priceless.

  2. You know, I’m seeing a strong resemblance between you and Megan here. 🙂 Thanks for sharing. I love knowing what young people are up to these day.

  3. Awe.some! Hope you gave that kid an A.

  4. Wow – that’s an impressive continuum, both in execution and aim!

  5. It was only a matter of time eh? The next step gets Brad Pitt to Chase.

  6. You know how I know you actually are hotter than hell AND Megan Fox? Because you appear to enjoy teaching middle schoolers, and they appear to be learning from you. God bless you. I don’t often enjoy middle schoolers and I’ve owned some. This is fantastic.

  7. Crazy funny! The scut to slut is a riot.

  8. Trish Loye Elliott

    Loved this one, Leanne! You ARE hotter than Hell, baby! Your kids are a riot. Thanks for the laugh.

  9. That kid is going to have one hell of a good time in high school and college.

  10. I officially love the boys in your class.

  11. That’s a great one. Definitely a keeper. Maybe yould blackmail him someday when he become a senator. 🙂

  12. That’s hilarious! You’ve got some talented kids there. Love the ‘weakly cooked McDonald’s hamburger’!

  13. You sound like a fantastic teacher. I love the insult in Shakespearean language thing! I teach a high school home school coop, do you mind if I steal the idea?

  14. Awesome. Fox is pretty but seems like a walking STD.

    I didn’t know we could send in student stuff, thought it was just our children. I teach a lot of idiots, I’ll see what I can get.

  15. Oh Leanne – that was HILARIOUS!! I’m also a middle school teacher – having taught musical theater for the last 7 years or so – and I teach private lessons and have ALWAYS said that middle school boys are the FUNNIEST on the planet!! Thanks for sharing!!

  16. Girl, I said you got that boom boom pow!

    And if we can send in student stuff, I’ll be locked and loaded for fall.

    Well not loaded. Maybe just a glass of wine… 😉

  17. I’m late getting in on this one…your students have a good facility for language, Leanne! It may be the only time in your life you’re on the same page as Megan Fox!


  18. Last week, my eighth graders were working on vocabulary spectrums, where they take a pair of words (e.g. Walk –> Run)

    Should be “in which” … nice try, teachers.

  1. Pingback: Insulting Your Teacher, Middle School Style | Leanne Shirtliffe ~ Ironic Mom

  2. Pingback: Thank you for your what? « Stuff Kids Write

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