Unruly Arm Hair: The Bane of Math Instruction

After double-checking with Leanne, “The Mother of All Things Ironic,” we’re pretty sure this qualifies.

Monday I posted the letter found in 8-year-old MM’s backpack, wherein he explained to his mom and dad that his carpet time probably would have been more wisely spent listening to dreckens the first time than licking his elbow with his buddy, although the general consensus from those commenting was that elbow licking is a fairly impressive feat and it is therefore somewhat debatable as to whether that actually was time unwisely spent as the tone of the note would suggest.

But we could debate the relative merits of joint licking for hours and never make any real headway on the issue.

Monday night I got home from work and my wife showed me this, which she found in the backback of our 7-year-old son.


A smidge.

(You will notice, however, that “Productive” was not checked, which makes sense because he was getting something accomplished, and, admittedly, those arm hairs weren’t going to cut themselves off.)

So it could have been worse.

My real concern with this incident, other than the throttling the hairless-armed kid typically receives in the schoolyard, is that this occured during math instruction.

I fear that Nolan may have inherited my natural aversion to, and complete ignorace of, anything involving numbers, computation, or logic. Like checking account balances. If he goes through life with my mathematical ineptitude, being the hairless-armed kid will be the least of his problems.

But I’m choosing to believe that Nolan was simply disinterested in the task at hand rather than incapable of doing it. I’m also guessing that MM not listening to dreckens the first time can be chalked up to the same.

And apparently, when 7 or 8-year-olds get bored, they use whatever is available to entertain themselves.

Like their limbs.

And their tongues.

And sometimes, even scissors.

But, hey, they’re kids. They’re sapoest to do weird things.

Posted on May 18, 2011, in School Confessionals and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. I hope he used safety scissors! And better his own arm hair than other kids’!

    Kaylee posted a video of Elise on Facebook yesterday in which she and Scott were asking her to kiss various parts of her body. When asked if she could kiss her elbow, she shook her head “No.” That’s my granddaughter…

  2. OKAY!!! Too Funny!!! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Ten bucks says he was cutting off the arm hair to count it by fives or take its square root or something.

  4. Do you think the teacher has a blank copy of that form? I’d like to use it to moderate (and modify) my husband’s behaviour.

    Wait a minute. I can think of a few variations on that form that would be kind of fun…

    Maybe I’ll just make one up myself.

  5. Deborah the Closet Monster

    So awesome. 😀 I love the stage my little guy is at now, but I have to admit . . . I’m curious what kinds of stuff he’s going to be busting me up with someday!

  6. Sapoestto. My new favorite. You may want to consider having him waxed. I’m concerned that he’s uneven now.

  7. Omigosh. You get stuff like this every day. Every. Day. The material just waltzes into your house. Dagnabit.

    That Nolan. 😉

    • Actually, the material usually bursts into our house, scatters its shoes, jacket, and backpack in four different directions, and informs us that the major difference between butterflies and moths is that butterflies make a chrysalis while moths make a cocoon. Then it demands a jelly sandwich. That Nolan.

  8. I love Nolan. My parents – both schoolteachers – would have loved Nolan. He’s the kid whose name will be chanted, years from now, when his teachers’ families gather for holidays and someone asks about favourite students.

    Trust me.

    The Nolans of the world are the ones that make it all worth it!

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