Is Your Husband a Has-Been?

First grade journals are a gold mine of delight. There’s something about the contrast between effort-laden printing and freewheeling thoughts that create humor. Add a few drawings and we have a similar level of effortlessness in kids’ writing as exists in boys’ soprano voices.

And then puberty comes. And ruins everything.

I digress.

One cold wintry January day in her desk at school, AM wrote in her first grade journal about the events of the previous day. Here’s what she wrote:

Stuff Kids Write

TRANSCRIPTION: Last night my neighbour came over with her dog. His name is Scruffy. He’s cute. He even licked us. He is brown and fluffy. Our neighbour’s name is Caylen. She has two sons and a husband (has been!) named Les. The end.

Whether it’s husband, hasbin, or has-been, AM is a girl who learns quickly.


To find out how to submit a piece of humourous children’s writing to Stuff Kids Write, check the sidebar.

About Leanne Shirtliffe

Leanne Shirtliffe is the author of SLOTH TO THE RESCUE, SAVING THUNDER THE GREAT, THE CHANGE YOUR NAME STORE, and NO MORE BEIGE FOOD (2016). She also wrote humor books DON'T LICK THE MINIVAN: Things I Never Thought I'd Say To My Kids and MOMMYFESTO. She and her family live in Calgary, Alberta because they like complaining about the weather.

Posted on May 11, 2011, in Diaries and Journals, Views of Adults and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. As a “has been,” I can fully appreciate this.

    The End

  2. Poor Caylen…at least she has Scruffy…


  3. Oh, how funny! I know my husband definitely feels like a “has been” more often than not these days, bless his heart. Thanks for sharing this, Leanne.

  4. I have to tell you, I read this quickly (initially without the translation) and I thought the joke was going to be that the dog “leckt as” — which I read as “licked ass”.

    What is wrong with me?

    I am so sorry, AM. 😉

  5. I love that it finishes ‘The End’ 🙂

  1. Pingback: “Is Your Husband a Has-Been?” « Some Species Eat Their Young

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