Category Archives: Notes
Guilt and Attention: a seven year old’s arsenal
A long time ago, when Caity was a wee girl of seven, she wrote her mom a note.
Caity, now an adult, recently discovered this relic. “It looks like I threw something and hit one of my siblings, earning a spank from Mom,” she explains. “Then I pulled out all the stops to try to get attention, make her feel guilty, apologize, and use sarcasm. Oh, childhood!”
Sounds like everyday in my house.
Actual Translation: Mom, you scratched me when you spanked me. I know you hate me, you can tell me that. Anyway, can I call Dad? I have a feeling you’ll say No. Now what am I gonna do? Your stupid daughter, Caity. P.S. Enjoy the rest of the show. P.P.S. I didn’t mean to do that. Because no one knew where it was gonna land!! P.P.P.S. I feel sick. 
XOXOXO….
Metaphorical Translation: Mom, we’re little sh*ts. I won’t be surprised if you open a bottle of wine. I will be surprised if you wait until after dinner.
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Thanks to Caity for the submission. You can find Caity at her blog, Readviews.
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If you have funny writing you did as a child or other amusing stuff kids wrote,
please consider submitting it as a jpg file to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
The Ofnig (Orphanage) Might Be Getting More Crowded
Seven-year-old Olivia was jumping on the bed when her mom asked her to stop. She kept jumping, so her dad yelled at her.
Olivia responded in writing, handed this note to her parents, and ran to another room.
“I don’t know what to say but I want to be with an orphanage.”
Do you think an adult ofnig is a pub? I hope so.
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Thanks to Thuy for sharing what Olivia wrote.
You should share, too. Submit an image of a child’s funny writing to either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
A Penise Saved Is a Penise Earned
A penise for your thoughts:
Do you think the teacher put them in a jar?
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Thanks to Jeremy for sharing his 7-year-old’s plea for PENNIES with Stuff Kids Write!
You should share, too. Submit an image of a child’s funny writing to either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
Who knows? Maybe you’ll get a popcorn party.
Take My Word For It: This Book Is Asam!
Seven-year-old Sage wrote a book.
We’ll let her tell you all about it:
A long, fun, weird story about a girl? What’s not to love about that!
Pretty savvy strategy by Sage giving us the CliffNotes version of her novel: just enough of a tease to get us to buy the to-be-published bestseller or go watch the film adaptation, but not so much as to spoil it for us.
Asam.
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Thanks to Sage’s mother, Toni, for sharing with Stuff Kids Write. If you have humorous kids’ writing you’re willing to share with our readers, please send it either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com. Thanks!
Telling on Daddy
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Send us the funny things your kids (or other people’s kids) write! Email a jpeg image to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com. Pieces can be posted with credit or anonymously, and if you have a personal blog/site you’d like us to link to, we will.
Thou Shalt Not Steal (or I’ll Tell Mom!)
Sometimes, you just have to take a stand against the tyranny of a sister.
And if that doesn’t work, write a note to your mom telling on her.
Thanks to Megan for sharing this detailed incident report from her son.
The Sun’ll Come Out… Tomorrow?
We all have ‘em…
But few of us ever have the foresight to post a sign on our bedroom door alerting others to the fact it’s the worst day of life. By far.
And including a hand-drawn emoticon to further drive home the point and alert potential non-readers to the fact? Next-level stuff, for sure.
Thanks to Anji for sharing her son’s sun’s status update.
If he’d drawn a “Like” box, we’d have checked it for sure.
Hos Your But Crack?
Tracey and her daughter were outside playing.
Tracey fell down and landed on her rear end.
Tracey’s daughter thought it was hysterical.
Later, 5-year-old Hannah wrote a note to check on the status of her mom’s posterior.
Thanks for sharing, Tracey. We hope your but crack is doing bater.
To Believe or Not To Believe a 6-Year-Old
Years ago, when S was six, she desperately wanted to help her older brother. He had hurt himself and S. was insisting on nursing his injuries. Her 11-year-old brother obviously had little faith in her medical skills and wouldn’t let S near him.
So S wrote her big brother a persuasive note.
"Why do you never believe me. I believe you so why do you not believe me. And I love you. From S."
Bless little S, her persuasion techniques, and the effort she took to spell “from.”
Don’t stop believing.
Except that song is now stuck in my head.
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Thanks to S’s mom who submitted this note from her archives. Please go visit her blog at Art Club Blog.
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Please look through your own archives and send submissions of funny stuff that kids write to stuffkidswrite(at)gmail(dot)com.
P.S. – Light a Match or Something!
Jake has a little sister. She’s 10. We think she’s got a terrific sense of humor. Jake may not agree.
Thanks to Vicki for this submission. Check out her blog Where the FuhKaui? Don’t worry: it doesn’t stink.
