Category Archives: Notes

Armpit Farts: The Only Way to End Your Day

Michael over at Dadicus Grinch shared this daily “To Do” list that his 7-year-old son Hayden brought home from school one day.

Michael asked if the teacher had assigned Hayden and his classmates the job of making a list: “No, a few of us just wanted to make them.”

You’ll find that Hayden’s list is incredibly thorough (and hilarious).

to_do_list to_do_list2 to_do_list4 to_do_list5

A couple of annotations, courtesy of Michael:

4. “Special” is the term for a rotating class: Art, Gym, Music…

14. “Pink” is what we call their fluoride rinse. So glad that I put the fear of the dentist in them — can you tell?

17. “Jump and do armpit farts” The boy is lucky he hasn’t cracked any ribs he’s been doing so many damn armpit farts.

In honor of 7-year-olds everywhere, we at Stuff Kids Write invite to join us in completing Hayden’s list today.

Just don’t crack any ribs.

A Sole-ful Confession

Max Note

 

Thanks to Thom for sharing this confessional note courtesy of his 4-year-old (with a possible assist from his preschool teacher).

Max’s preschool teacher. Not Thom’s.

When Parents “Wrestle” and Kids Write Notes

Catherine, of The Dabels Divulge, shared what went on at her house one morning.

The man and I were busy “wrestling” and locked our bedroom door. Our daughter kept knocking, saying she wanted in. We told her, “GO AWAY, WE’RE SLEEPING!”

And then this note comes flying in under the door. 

Pepsi Wrestling SKW.jpg

So of course I checked yes and unlocked the door.

The things you have to do for a Pepsi these days.

Sir Mix-A-Lot Doesn’t Think It’s a Problem!

but_problem

#$%*ing Toilet Humor

When Tara’s stepdaughter was seven, she wrote about how the world needed to change.

SKW Toilet Graffiti

Translation: “I would really like to change the world. I think we should put more trees and more water, and there is too much dirt, too. Stop writing ‘fuck’ in toilets. Thank you.”

We couldn’t agree more.

***

Thanks to Tara of Love from Tara for the awesome submission. If you have something funny that your child or someone else’s kid wrote, please send a picture of it to mcfadden(dot)chase(at)gmail(dot)com or leanneshirtliffe(at)gmail(dot)com.

When Your 9-Year-Old Watches Shark Week on TV…

…it’s best to avoid him.

Check out the note that adorns his bedroom door:Shark Week SKW

Blah Blah Blah.

Gone.

Guilt and Attention: a seven year old’s arsenal

A long time ago, when Caity was a wee girl of seven, she wrote her mom a note.

Caity, now an adult, recently discovered this relic. “It looks like I threw something and hit one of my siblings, earning a spank from Mom,” she explains. “Then I pulled out all the stops to try to get attention, make her feel guilty, apologize, and use sarcasm. Oh, childhood!”

Sounds like everyday in my house.

 Guilt Letter to Mom Post Spanking

Actual Translation: Mom, you scratched me when you spanked me. I know you hate me, you can tell me that. Anyway, can I call Dad? I have a feeling you’ll say No. Now what am I gonna do? Your stupid daughter, Caity. P.S. Enjoy the rest of the show. P.P.S. I didn’t mean to do that. Because no one knew where it was gonna land!! P.P.P.S. I feel sick. :( XOXOXO….

Metaphorical Translation: Mom, we’re little sh*ts. I won’t be surprised if you open a bottle of wine. I will be surprised if you wait until after dinner.

~~~

Thanks to Caity for the submission. You can find Caity at her blog, Readviews.

~~~

If you have funny writing you did as a child or other amusing stuff kids wrote,
please consider submitting it as a jpg file to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.

The Ofnig (Orphanage) Might Be Getting More Crowded

Seven-year-old Olivia was jumping on the bed when her mom asked her to stop. She kept jumping, so her dad yelled at her.

Olivia responded in writing, handed this note to her parents, and ran to another room.

Orphanage

“I don’t know what to say but I want to be with an orphanage.”

Do you think an adult ofnig is a pub? I hope so.

~~~

Thanks to Thuy for sharing what Olivia wrote.

You should share, too. Submit an image of a child’s funny writing to either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.

A Penise Saved Is a Penise Earned

penise.popcorn

A penise for your thoughts:

Do you think the teacher put them in a jar?

*********

Thanks to Jeremy for sharing his 7-year-old’s plea for PENNIES with Stuff Kids Write!

You should share, too. Submit an image of a child’s funny writing to either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll get a popcorn party.

Take My Word For It: This Book Is Asam!

Seven-year-old Sage wrote a book.

We’ll let her tell you all about it:

sage.story

A long, fun, weird story about a girl? What’s not to love about that!

Pretty savvy strategy by Sage giving us the CliffNotes version of her novel: just enough of a  tease to get us to buy the to-be-published bestseller or go watch the film adaptation, but not so much as to spoil it for us.

Asam.

*******

Thanks to Sage’s mother, Toni, for sharing with Stuff Kids Write. If you have humorous kids’ writing you’re willing to share with our readers, please send it either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com. Thanks!

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