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Guilt and Attention: a seven year old’s arsenal
A long time ago, when Caity was a wee girl of seven, she wrote her mom a note.
Caity, now an adult, recently discovered this relic. “It looks like I threw something and hit one of my siblings, earning a spank from Mom,” she explains. “Then I pulled out all the stops to try to get attention, make her feel guilty, apologize, and use sarcasm. Oh, childhood!”
Sounds like everyday in my house.
Actual Translation: Mom, you scratched me when you spanked me. I know you hate me, you can tell me that. Anyway, can I call Dad? I have a feeling you’ll say No. Now what am I gonna do? Your stupid daughter, Caity. P.S. Enjoy the rest of the show. P.P.S. I didn’t mean to do that. Because no one knew where it was gonna land!! P.P.P.S. I feel sick. 
XOXOXO….
Metaphorical Translation: Mom, we’re little sh*ts. I won’t be surprised if you open a bottle of wine. I will be surprised if you wait until after dinner.
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Thanks to Caity for the submission. You can find Caity at her blog, Readviews.
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If you have funny writing you did as a child or other amusing stuff kids wrote,
please consider submitting it as a jpg file to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
The Truth About Crossword Puzzles
Eight-year-old Vivian has spent hours watching her dad do crossword puzzles.
Last week, on day four of being stuck at home with a high fever, she grabbed the puzzle page of the newspaper, did the word search, and wrote on her dad’s beloved puzzle.
I wonder what the “down” clue is for that…
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Please share your image of a funny piece of children’s writing by submitting to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
The Ofnig (Orphanage) Might Be Getting More Crowded
Seven-year-old Olivia was jumping on the bed when her mom asked her to stop. She kept jumping, so her dad yelled at her.
Olivia responded in writing, handed this note to her parents, and ran to another room.
“I don’t know what to say but I want to be with an orphanage.”
Do you think an adult ofnig is a pub? I hope so.
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Thanks to Thuy for sharing what Olivia wrote.
You should share, too. Submit an image of a child’s funny writing to either mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
What Teenage Boys Ask Santa For
You’re never too old to write a Dear Santa letter, especially if you need working toilets in your house.
Sixteen-year-old Greyson seems to have it all going on, except for—as previously mentioned—properly working toilets.
Check out Grey’s list yourself.
Thanks to Grey and his awesome mom, Ginger. Please check out Ginger’s own writing at her blog and her Facebook Author Page.
In the comments, please tell us: What would have been on your “Dear Santa” list when you were sixteen?
If a child you know has written any funny Santa lists, please consider sharing them with the audience of StuffKidsWrite. Email us at mcfadden.chase@gmail.com and leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
Caramel Popcorn With What?
Autumn is the season of Thanksgiving.
Do you know what your children are thankful for?
You might be surprised.
Eight boxes. That’s a lot of . . . toppings.
If you see a funny example of stuff a kid wrote, snap a pic with your smartphone and share it with the followers of SKW! Please email to either leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com or mcfadden.chase@gmail.com.
School agendas and fainting
Lief is a clever nine-year-old who (intentionally or not) seems to be poking fun at the idea of setting weekly goals.
This is what he wrote in his agenda as his goal for the week:
I am happy to report that Lief did, in fact, achieve his goal. He remains upright.
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Thanks to Lief’s hilarious mom, Lorraine of Worn Ragged: Mommies on the Edge, for sharing this with us.
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Send us the funny things your kids (or other people’s kids) write.
Email a jpeg image to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
Pieces can be posted with credit or anonymously,
and if you have a personal blog/site you’d like us to link to, we will.
I love you but…
Eight-year-old Vivian keeps a notebook in the backseat of her family’s car.
“For emergencies,” she says.
Evidently she had an emergency last week. While stopped at a red light, she handed her mom this note:
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Send us the funny things your kids (or other people’s kids) write. Email a jpeg image to mcfadden.chase@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com. Pieces can be posted with credit or anonymously, and if you have a personal blog/site you’d like us to link to, we will.
What Adults Don’t Know About Kids, Gardens, and Poetry
When Chrissy Irwin’s sister was in second grade, she had to keep a journal.
One day Jillian and her classmates had to write poetry.
This is what Jillian wrote:
It seems incredibly insightful.
Long live logic. And kids who are funny in spite of their teachers.
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Do you have any writing my kids that you’d like to submit?
If so, please email chasemcfadden@gmail.com or leanneshirtliffe@gmail.com.
When Sentences Make You Sad
Eight-year-old Cameron brought his books home from school in June. His dad, Lloyd, found this:
Cameron’s writing has appeared here before. Please check out a touching post, How Our Kids Re-Write Us, and two funny ones, When Kids Try Hot Sauce and Stuipid Gardening.
Follow Lloyd’s intelligent and hilarious musings on Twitter: @LloydRang.
Thank you for your what?
There is never any shortage of adventure in a middle school classroom. Last year I was mistakenly called a slut and jokingly deemed hotter than Megan Fox.
This year, I evidently forgot to teach students that you do not hyphenate one syllable words if you run out of room at the end of a line.
My (cl)ass and I are going to have a stellar vacation, thank you very much.
